Mother Know's Best

"Don't stick that up your nose! It will get stuck and I will have to take you to the doctors to get it out. Did you get it out?"

One week later. "what's that smell? Eeww it's something quite awful"
I scrubbed and scrubbed this one's teeth...

And then one morning it had dawned on me. Could it be......No way... but maybe.... could it be that little ball!
"Emma, did you get that ball out of your nose"
"Umm, yes"(giggle, giggle)
There was just no way of getting the truth from her. She was just deny, deny, deny!!!
So a little trip to the doctors was called for and yes that little ball was stuck up her nose. All this time I thought she had had a runny nose but sorry folks it was pus and there was plenty of it.
She was so good at the doctors. He had this big lollie jar and she was promised one when he had finished his procedure.
He pulled that thing out with his pliers, it was stripped of its original colour and completely covered in pus. It had the most putrid smell. It took all my might not to throw up on the spot.
Her nose bled a wee bit but she recovered pretty quickly.
Emma got her lollie and then my 2 1/2 year old Amelia proceeded to sit on my knee and said "my turn next!"
Gee, that girl would do anything for food, even to have a pair of pliers put up her nose!.

The next day I decided to take these 2 rascals to the movies. Emma really wanted to see 'The princess and the Frog'

So off we went. I was so proud as punch of these 2. I plied them with popcorn, lollies and a bottle of water. I sitting in the middle and each of my 2 little Angels sitting either side of me. I thought this is why I became a mother because of nice moments like these.

But my picture of bliss was going to be interupted. After an hour Emma ran out of popcorn and wanted more treats.

And this one got a little restless, started climbing all over the chairs and ran up and down the aisles. She called on her bigger sister Emma to join in with her shenanigans by doing somersaults in front of the screen. Emma finally decided to come back to me. I told her off for the tenth time while Amelia was still doing her circus act in front of the screen.

Emma points to Amelia "Look Mum, Amelia is taking her pants off!"

I jump over the obstacle course of the chairs, run down the aisle when I hear those fated words "I've done poooo's" All the while she has completely taken off her knickers and doing cartwheels in all her glory right in front of the movie screen.

I scramble to my knee's, try my best interpretation of a commando crawl, grab her, check if there were any Poo's, (phew, false alarm) put her jacket on so to cover her, pick up her wet pants, grab the other one and as quick as a flash get out of there.

Maybe this time mother doesn't know best and swore to never take them to the movies again!

Maybe I should of left her at home in this state instead. (insert of her after Emma's birthday)

Now I will have to get the DVD to see what happens at the end. Bugger them I was really enjoying that movie! ;0)


Rosie said…
That story made me laugh out loud. Thanks for sharing.
sarah said…
oh my goodness! that is a hillarious story of motherhood! ha ha! your children are certainly keeping you (and us !)entertained!
Cindy said…
I felt so slack wimping out on taking my 2 to the cinema today - feeling a little better now. The nose is such a classic kid reasoning
Emeline said…
Not always very easy to be a mother!
That's histerical!! Oh and I think it's a childs job to put something up their nose. We've had blue tac, a stick on earring and my brother pushed a small stone up his. You have to have these things to laugh back on, it's character building really.
gret said…
Hilarious. Thanks for telling!!
Kate said…
Great stories! I must say that they do make me and my crazy family feel a bit normal though. Hope you have a great, uneventful weekend. XX
Simoney said…
Hahahaha... you made me laugh out loud! Ewww the pusball!! Phew a lucky cinema escape... Very familiar story about the cinema: I can only NOW take my daughter (she's FIVE).
Just got bored sitting still for so long. Ants in her pants.

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